Introspection

Walking home in the dark with my best friend
in my yellow coat and 5 inch heels
and new hair cut he says makes me look
older- more sophisticated
True- we are grown now
It doesn't feel quite like old times
when we were young and free
and had adventures

he told me
he admires that I am proactive (when it comes to my art)
that I always stay true to my heart
which struck me as funny
I wasn't even sure
that I still had a heart
I feel I've done things
recently
to hurt others
but I feel
myself
impervious to pain

Yet maybe I do still have a heart
maybe it's hidden
in there
somewhere.
I can't find it.
maybe that's what friends are for
to help you search for
what you lost
what you can't find.
it's hidden
in there
somewhere.