Introspection

Walking home in the dark with my best friend
in my yellow coat and 5 inch heels
and new hair cut he says makes me look
older- more sophisticated
True- we are grown now
It doesn't feel quite like old times
when we were young and free
and had adventures

he told me
he admires that I am proactive (when it comes to my art)
that I always stay true to my heart
which struck me as funny
I wasn't even sure
that I still had a heart
I feel I've done things
recently
to hurt others
but I feel
myself
impervious to pain

Yet maybe I do still have a heart
maybe it's hidden
in there
somewhere.
I can't find it.
maybe that's what friends are for
to help you search for
what you lost
what you can't find.
it's hidden
in there
somewhere.

Hair Today... New Persona Tomorrow?

I've come across a problem whilst filling out my application for a passport: haircolor.
Haircolor? Oh shit. Do I write my natural hair color (blond), which I haven't seen in over six years, or the color that my hair tends to be the majority of the time (red)? Maybe I should just put "multi" or "various" or perhaps just "?!" in the first two boxes.

It brings to mind the notion that hair is so much of our identity. Watch America's Next Top Model, for example. You tell a conservative model would-be she's going to have to be nude in a shoot, you see hesitation and maybe some tears. You tell any model she's getting her long hair chopped off, and chances are she's on the floor sobbing like a baby.

I've never quite understood the tears in that situation. Then again, my hair grows uber quickly.
It's been long enough to sit on, short and spiky, bright orange, magenta, various shades of red, brown and blond, even blue-streaked. I've dyed it myself and even lopped off my own bangs a few times with varying success. If hair is a big part of our identities, I wonder what this says about me?