10 Ways to Kiss

I was browsing through my inbox looking for something, anything of importance... perhaps a job offer, or a letter telling me that for no reason at all i would be receiving a check for a thousand dollars (and not one of those fraudulent ones from England or Africa by some "Embasssador" fleeing for his life) or a free trip to Prague at the time of my choosing.
No such luck.

I did however, come across a spam email from Sephora, damn me and my wreckless mailing list signups. The subject line read "10 Ways to Kiss," a phrase more befitting a Marie Claire or Cosmopolitan article. (Then again, Urban Outfitters also likes to be clever in the subject box).

Curiosity taking precedence over my desire not to have my precious time wasted, I open the box. I open it to find that it is an advertisement for 10 different brand of lipgloss. Lipgloss! pink and red shimmery, glittery ones! Because every self respecting guy I know loves kissing a girl with sticky lips, only to end up with his mouth covered in sticky pink sparkles, and no matter how often he wipes his mouth, will have that one piece of glitter that sticks to the chin and lingers for days.