Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Soda Jerks

I know it's not just at various Panera restaraunts that this occurs, but for some reason it happens here either with greater frequency, or for some reason I am most conscious of it here. "It" being other patrons' quirky, if not erratic, sometimes irritating soda-dispensing behaviors.

Press ice button. peer into cup for a moment wondering whether one has chosen appropriate amount of ice (this is crucial.) Dispense soda. Stop. Allow fizzing to subside. Dispense more soda. Pause in thought. Realize amount of ice was insubstantial in conjunction with amount of beverage. carefully dispense more ice. Gasp in shock when soda splashes out of the cup. Recover wits and manage to lean over to reach a napkin without seceding your spot in front of the soda machine to the next guy in line. Sip soda. Oops, that's diet! You didn't mean to pour diet! Repeat process and leave with satisfaction, remembering suddenly not to make eye contact with any of the ten people in line behind you.

I may be an intensly boring, petty person. Or people's soda fountain personalities may just be intensly fascinating, and I've only now discovered exactly how fascinating. But just about any time I get in line for soda (especially at Panera), I find myself wishing I had a tiny legal pad and pen to play documentarian.
Then when it's my turn:

Press ice lever. Shake cup. Investigate ice level. Dump out 2-4 ice cubes. Check ice again. Press soda button. Let fizzing subside (sometimes tapping cup on counter to speed this process up). repeat aforementioned step 2 or 3 times... scuttle sideways apologetically towards lid and straw department...

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